Calling Social Media Bullshit

unbranded-bullshit-stamp

My grandfather used to have a sign in his den that said, “If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance baffle them with bullshit.

Years later, I learned of a Zen proverb that goes, “Those who speak don’t know, those who know don’t speak.”

The idea is the same (though grandpa’s colorful language made an impression back in the day). The message is this: Someone talking your ear off about a topic – any topic – probably doesn’t have the depth of understanding of someone who has lived it. The more they yammer, the more suspicious you should be.

Observe a veteran cop, creative director, mechanic, soldier, investment banker, whatever -  you’ll find they listen more than they talk and when they do speak up, they keep it short, simple and to the point.

Sadly,the brave new world of social media is teaming with superflous language and thinly veiled attempts at self-promotion. It often feels to me like an echo chamber where everyone is writing from the same dictionary. Worse, when you sort through the words you often don’t wind up with anything substantive.

Here are two red flags I look out for when sorting out the brilliance from the bullshit.

1. The evangelist/company coins ‘proprietary language’ to replace common language.

Simply put, either an idea is new and therefore best explained in common, easy to understand language or an idea is common and therefore needs to be ‘re-skinned’ with new language in the hopes it will sound more groundbreaking and unique than it is.

If the idea behind ‘social media’ is essentially smart, fluid, efficient communication it is ironic to me that evangelists and pundits commonly stuff their communications with vague paraphrasing, clever lingo and unnecessary ‘new’ terms for existing ones we all already know and agree upon.

As an aside, it’s worth recalling that after the dot-com bust a lot of seasoned business people mocked Internet gurus and web pioneers for their silly business card titles (Chief Disruption Officer), superlative claims (remember brick and mortar being ‘dead’) and jargon-laden banter (“we’re enabling an extensible paradigm shift”).

2. What could be said in one word is said in several, sometimes-hyphenated, words.

Why be ‘comprehensive’ or ‘thorough’ when you can be ‘collectively exhaustive’? Here’s one reason; because it keeps the focus on the point you’re trying to make, not on trying to decipher what all the brainiac-SAT language. Save the academic jargon for graduate courses on Post-Modern Constructivism, we’re conducting business here people, let’s cut to the chase.

Right now, the emerging trend among social media gurus is to bash social media guruism and to talk about ‘social media beyond marketing’. As self promotion goes this is a well-worn tactic. Now that everyone is talking about social media and marketing, the original gurus need another wave of differentiation. Never mind that the latter topic is far from figured out, it’s been exhausted of its headline-garnering value and its insider jargon is commonplace. Next.

It’s also somewhat telling that many of the same people talking about moving beyond marketing habitually dress up their dialogue in language that stinks of marketing spin and slick veneer.

Is it brilliance of bullshit?  Consult a 4th grade dictionary.

I used to write websites for the pharmaceutical industry now and then. One of the trickiest parts of doing pharma sites is being challenged to ‘write it at a 4th grade reading level’. In essence these companies wanted me to distill down all the science and medical research and use simple, clear language that anyone could understand lest they confuse or intimidate people.

What if we applied this same filter to the speeches, presentations and blog posts we read about social media? What if we took all the fancy words and replaced them with their common, 4th-grade equivalent?

Try it.

When you do, you may well find that it sheds a whole new light on the content of what you’re reading.

Conversely, if you’d like to stuff some jargon into a piece of work, I might suggest you play with this application. It does a bang-up job of providing mucky language for any deck, RFP or post you may want to broadcast into the echo chamber of social media evangelism.

Before you know it, you’ll be one of the gang.

Front Porch: Margarita Edition

I spent much of this Sunday weeding my driveway (don’t ask) which I followed with a 50min run. Needless to say, tonight’s Front Porch musings are accompanied by a margarita…

Chevy Volt concept carThe Volt goes for a jolt but dishes out static.

Earlier this week GM put out a splashy headline about the Volt getting 203+ miles per gallon in city driving. Unfortunately while this no doubt tickled the newswire, I don’t believe it will help GM in the long run. It’s just the type of bravado that validates my belief that they simply don’t ‘get’ the transparency of our age. You can’t bullshit your way to success today. People will not only question your claims, they’ll publish what they discover.

Yes, the Volt is a big step in the right direction for GM and the US auto industry. And as a suburban/urban commuter electric car, it’s a nice piece of machinery. But rather than GM explaining why an electric car might matter to the world today it decided to overstate its case using a clever headline that muddies the value proposition with verbal slight of hand.

A better approach for GM would be to show some respect for people’s intelligence, to be a little humble (after all, you’re the punchline of a lot of jokes these days), to educate drivers on why they might want to consider an electric car and to act as if they understand that people can fact-check you pretty damned easily. Toss in a dash of patriotism and national economy re-building and you might actually come off as authentic, sincere and interested in the people you build cars for.


black-belt-image2

Best Buy CEO Brian Dunn unknowingly validates martial arts thinking on business.
I was pleased to come across this interview with Brian Dunn the new CEO of Best Buy. In his own words, he lent a certain credence to the piece I recently wrote on samu and the importance of spending time in the trenches. He also spend some time talking about ego and how it can impact the job of CEO, another topic I once touched upon from an Eastern/Western contrasting vantage point. Honorary black belt to Mr. Dunn.


old-tattoo-man

Stream of consciousness: Self deleting data and the new tattoos.
A while back I read an article ( I can’t find it now or I’d link to it) about data files that were designed to self-delete. Today my wife told me about a book she’s reading by Barbara Kingsolver that describes wheat seeds engineered to self-abort – that is, to force the farmer to buy new seeds every season. This reminded me of the shitty drive belt on my drier which the maintenance guy admitted was smaller than the old one (and obviously engineered to break, thereby giving said repairman a job). Next leap, social media and kids losing jobs over stupid posts, incriminating pictures etc. Compromising digital records are the new tattoos. They seem like a fun, cool, good idea at the time, but they’re permanent and they may cause someone to judge you down the line. Seems to me there’s a market in social media for a product that would allow you to tag a digital asset and in doing so, set a sef-destruct point whereby the file would be deleted. Apparently some companies toyed with this but it doesn’t seem like there’s a great solution out there for the cell-cam-photographed masses. If such a product existed I might even do a post about the time I publically stripped off all of my cloth

Seizing Chaos – A Martial Perspective on Multi-tasking

The Myth of MultitaskingIn addition to working in businesses I’ve spent nearly two decades in the martial arts. Today I run a school with students of my own. Part of that entails doing public demonstrations. In these demonstrations I try to connect martial concepts to real-world needs. The reason is simple; while many people may get into the martial arts to learn ‘self defense’ most will not get into physical confrontations. Therefore martial arts must be made relevant in other ways.

To me, the world of business is one area that can greatly benefit from martial concepts. At the dojo a week ago, we focused training on randori (literally ‘seizing chaos’). Randori is a multiple person attack where three or four or five people come at you simultaneously (vs. one at a time as they conveniently do in the movies).

In the past, doing public demonstrations, I like to end the presentation with a brief randori demonstration. Along with it, I offer a metaphorical translation of the idea. It goes something like this:

Having lined up four or five people, I individually point to them one at a time. “This guy is my email. This one is my boss, nagging at me. This guy is a telephone. Over here, this one is my monthly paperwork at the office. And lastly this guy is a presentation I have to make by the end of the day. Now let’s watch what happens when I try to take them all on at the same time…”

A demonstration ensues and flailing wildly I try to grapple with two or three of my attackers at a time. They pile up quickly and overpower me easily.

Usually breathing hard at this point, I look at the crowd. “This (gasp) is how (gasp) many of us (gasp) feel at (gasp) work (gasp).”

Once I catch my breath I go on, “We have this insane concept called multi-tasking. It’s a myth. An illusion. There’s scientific evidence galore that it doesn’t work. It’s being outlawed in cars because it’s outright dangerous. Yet we don’t need any of the science or laws to know inside that when we multitask we’re erratic and unfocused doing three things poorly rather than one thing well. This is the reality of the human brain and no matter how many devices we wire ourselves up to, we have finite capacity to get things done. When we try to do more or focus on more, quality drops.”

“As an alternative, I recommend dealing with a work day the way we teach dealing with multiple attackers in an Aikido dojo.”

I then line the five guys back up. We begin again. This time I address one at a time ignoring the others. The object of randori is to keep moving and to focus on one person at a time. You also have to be careful not to waste too much energy on any one person. If you meet resistance, it’s sometimes best to move on and come back to that person again later (they’ll be there, just like work and everything else).

NOTE: This is not me or anyone I know. I just thought it was an interesting (if poor quality) video on the execution of randori in Aikido.

Done properly, an individual can fend off multiple people for far longer if they focus on them one at a time. This translates quite literally into the workspace. Focus on one task at a time and do it to completion. Most importantly, do not divide your attention. Check all our email, then put it away, then answer your voice mail and move on after that. Do the presentation. Go talk to the boss. Do your paperwork. With discipline and focus you can get much more done and you work much more efficiently. Focus is obviously integral to putting your best foot forward, yet when we multitask we divide that focus.

The randori approach to getting through a work day takes practice. There are many pressures and distractions to our day – from social networks, to web surfing, to people barging into our offices while we’re trying to get things done. In my experience the wise business person asks people who barge in to come back later. They set aside time for email and Internet surfing and avoid responding every time a message comes in. The majority of these messages don’t truly require immediate attention anyhow and if we’re not careful our devices control us not unlike the bell for Pavlov’s dog.

I offer the randori approach as something to experiment with at the office. Try it for a half a day, or a week. See if it doesn’t change your work patterns and result in better quality to everything you do. At first it will be a concerted effort on your part, but with time it may become the way you do things and you may even find you have a little more energy left after a long day.


Dispatches from the Front Porch

Misc Coffee Cup.JPGI live in an old farm house with a front porch. On that porch is a wicker sofa. If all goes well, on Sunday mornings I park myself on this sofa, drink coffee, read the paper, and  mull things over. I decided it might be a good construct for posting to my blog. So, I’m creating a Front Porch section to do that. Below is dispatch one from my front porch. (No doubt your click finger is twitching for the RSS button.)

Now Not New

The subhead on this blog is ‘Now Not New’ and encapsulation of my personal belief that while we need pioneers to go off on quests for ‘paradigm changing innovation’, most of us should be focused on evolution not revolution.

This article in today’s New York Times drives that message home from the perspective of technological migration within industries. It is presented in this article as a business strategy. It struck me as worth thinking about on a lot of levels as we all grapple with change in our businesses, rituals, lifestyles and relationships.


Spongemonkeys from Quiznos ads and rathergoodDefining Culture or Keeping Up

One of my formative impressions during my first years working in the ad industry early in my career, was that of agencies taking credit for defining culture when mostly they were just latching on to it. Some examples include Docs which were popular long before some agency convinced the brand to advertise in print. Timberlands which were advertised to WASPS but staples in the Brooklyn hip hop scene. And a few years back one of my favorite nutball sites rathergood.com, got picked up in Quiznos. A certain ad critic went on at length about how the agency created the ultimate mix of creative genius for the brand. Meanwhile, what they did was hire rathergood to take a song they’d already written about the moon and change the lyrics to be about sub sandwiches. Needless to say said critic got a lot of comments to his write-up and quickly buried it.

So, to just put it out there, I read this article on my front porch today, and am betting it will be 90-180 days before some ‘buzz agency’ slaps a brand on this concept and then takes credit for starting a trend that already exists.

I’m not saying advertisers are supposed to define culture, I just get annoyed when they take credit for it like a prophet of cool.


Hive board game tilesHive: A Board Game without a board.

Apparently board games remain huge in Europe and especially Germany. In my home we play our share as I think its a great way to gather the family around and talk, laugh and spend time together. On my recent vacation to New Hampshire I picked up the game Hive which I read a review of in Wired magazine (the print edition no less). I can’t recommend this game enough. It’s elegantly simple in concept, quick to learn and reveals layers of complexity the more you play it – like chess. But unlike chess, it doesn’t takes hours to play and young kids (my daughter is eight) can pick it up pretty quickly. Plus, it fits in an easily-carried pouch and I’m guessing works the brain well. Hive has just displaced Blokus as my favorite game of the moment. In a world of great video games, its still nice to see innovative old-school board games too.


Robot MooseThe Moose Report

I was recently in New Hampshire on vacation. Whenever I travel I try to spend time observing the people around me. I believe its my full-time 24-7-365 job to study people and how they interact with each other, technology, products, media, etc. Sure, Gartner, Forrester, Yankelovich etc. put out great reports, but nothing beats first-hand observation when you can have it.

Mind you, I was near North Conway and Meredith, not backwoods New Hampshire. This is a Boston vacation community I’m talking about. A few things I noted worth mentioning:

  • No one mentioned Twitter. Not once.
  • Teens were continually texting but few had ‘smart phones’.
  • In cafes with Net connections more people were dealing with spreadsheets and Google than Facebook and Flickr.
  • Technology was an accessory not a focal point of how people presented themselves.

…All of this struck me as a contrast from my normal travels in the NYC metro area. We need to be cautious that we technophiles don’t begin to believe everyone is like us. Per the first part of this post, it’s one thing to be an opinion leader or early adopter, it’s another to assume everyone is.


bartsgirlfriendOne Final Word

One of my favorite Simpson’s lines is from an old episode where Bart is trying to woo a girl. At one point he’s blathering on clumsily as young boys often do in front of girls. This girl, who is a bit snotty, interrupts him dismissively saying, “Bart, do you ever think anything you don’t say?”

This line pops up for me now and then when I think about social media and especially status updates. Do we ever think things we don’t say (or post)? Should we? The sentiment was underscored in this SundayStyles article about no tweet no blog VIP parties.

Two quotes from the article:

“People think that every thought they have, every experience – if its not captured is lost.”

“When its off the record, you actually listen to the conversation, not just wait for your turn to speak.”

Food for thought. And a deliciously apropos point to stop blogging from today.