This story courtesy of SMAA (Social Media Addicts Anonymous)

*names have been changed to protect the innocent

“Hello, my name is Spartacus* and I’m a social media addict.

I’m still not sure how I got here. I’m an average guy. I enjoy keeping up with the new technologies, pretty much like anyone. As a good netizen, I upgrade my browser regularly. I’m pro open-source. I even know a little more than ‘normal’ about SEO and some of those things.

My experimentation with social media started as just that, harmless experimentation, almost 15 years ago. I still remember my AOL account circa 1994 and that first high of chat room dialogue. Today I have Facebook and LinkedIn accounts. I signed up for Twitter. And yes, I blog.

But I thought I had it all under control.

I thought I could stop any time.

I never thought it would lead to addiction.

Now, every day, I have to feed the digital dragon as I chase tiny URLs, neurotically update my own status, and try to keep abreast of everything coming my way.

It’s funny though, I remember using technology to avoid the barrage of advertising messages we’re all pummeled with. Technology was going to set us free. It was going to save us from all the noise we didn’t want to hear.

It’s ironic to me that now I have hundreds of friends who I’ve volunteered to hear from and the accumulation of all their input is just noise again. I can’t possibly keep up with it all. I miss more than I see.

But I can’t stop myself. I’m afraid I’ll miss the one important thing among the hundreds of silly details that come across my screen. I’ve come to crave comments too. I feel depression set in when my Facebook status goes unnoticed. It feel like being invisible.

Well, now all this social media stuff is getting in the way of my life. It’s interrupting me at work. I’m all ADHD now. I can’t focus on anything because every 2 minutes I get a tweet or an email or just an impulse to check in with Facebook.

And it’s not only at work. When I should be playing with my kids I sneak back for a Facebook fix or a quick hit of Twitter. I find it nearly impossible to just go up to bed. I have to check in, one last time. And first thing in the morning, yup, I check in again. I even Tweeted from the toilet once. Not about being on the toilet, but from there. Can you believe that? It’s crazy. It’s ruling my life.

The trouble is, getting hooked was too easy. Friending is a lot like drinking shots. Each friend accepted with a quick click was followed by an initial moment of warm connection. These friends just went down so smooth. And the more friends I collected online, the more at ease I felt in myself. The more comfortable. The more cool and with-it.

But before I knew it, I had hundreds of friends and connections. Without warning, all those shots of friendship started to overload and made me dizzy. Even a little nauseous.

I tried to quit, but all my friends were doing it. Do you know how hard it is to be social when everyone else is friending and Tweeting and you’re not? It’s impossible in this day and age.

So here I am. A shell of the person I used to be. I get less done. Talk to fewer people. Compulsively fiddle with buttons. I spend hours staring at some screen, large or small. And for what? Am I any wiser? Is my career any further along? Is my family any better off? Am I really any better for all this time spent doing this stuff? No, not really.

And worse, it’s getting harder to feel that connection high now. Just friending doesn’t do it anymore. The Tweets seem a little boring now. I’m starting to look for new iPhone apps or software or services or widgets to give me that jolt again.

I don’t know how it happened. I don’t know when I lost control. I don’t know when I crossed the line. My intentions were good. I just wanted to have a little fun. To hang out. To let go and live a little. To connect with people. To feel liked and important.

And now here I am, in front of all of you, confessing this weakness that’s overtaken my life.

I have a problem, and I’m admitting it. And they say that’s the first step to recovery.

But I haven’t gotten any Facebook comments to confirm that.