Here’s one for you. I’m at a Panera in Massachusetts winding up my day. I amble up to the counter, 20-something Suzie Q waiting at the register with a Vietnam Vet’s 10,000′ stare. She smiles emotionless at me, asks how she can help me.
“I’d like an iced chai please,” I say, following up with a skim milk inquiry (gotta keep my girlish figure after all).
“Will there be anything else?” She asks lifelessly.
“Just ten grand from the register,” I say with a smile. She gives me that ‘for $8/hour I have to tolerate this thinks-he’s-a-comedian-customer’ smile.
“It’s funny if I don’t have a gun right?” I say, more deadpan this time.
You’ve never seen a smile disappear so fast. Life floods into her eyes. She looks a question at me. When I do nothing but open my wallet, she steps away and fetches my drink. I say thank you with a sucralose smile handing her over the money. She says nothing, makes change and walks away.
Now THAT’S funny.
Is it just me, or has the retail industry completely skipped passed Thanksgiving this year? We went from Halloween (“consume lots of sugar” gluttony) right to Christmas (“consume everything else plus sugar” gluttony) without stopping at Thanksgiving.
